"What?" I ask, glancing up from my e-reader.
"This," she says, indicating her book. "THIS. STUPID. BOOK."
"What are you reading?"
"Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness. ARGH!" The book has fallen from her hands and banged her on the head.
"It's not me! IT'S. THIS. STINKING. BOOK." She holds it out to me. "It's not weighted correctly. You see this? This here?" She's indicating the first 6th of the tome. "This is the actual book. 77 pages. You see this?" She indicates the other 350 pages. "This is the part where it explains to you why those 77 pages are worth reading!!"
"You shouldn't have to have FIVE times as many pages explaining why the book should be read!!!"
"I have to concur."
"Right?!? It's a 77 page monologue. GAH! And I have to read 10 pages tonight. He just keeps talking and talking and talllllking. I'm not going to make it." She brightens for a moment. "I'll have to have a Heart of Darkness Dance break every 2 pages."
"That sounds like a plan."
"Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack should do it."
Never underestimate the power of a good soundtrack when played on your Crosley portable record player at 45rpm.