Winter in Canada. Cold, right? In some places VERY COLD. We're not even into ACTUAL winter yet and I can see the effects on my poor spouse. We went for a walk on Friday night as the sun was going down and David was unprepared. After our invigorating half hour walk we decided we needed an emergency warm-up bath.
So here's the thing... A guy's penis is pretty much his very own fleshy thermometer. You guys out there know what I'm talking about. You've all jumped into a cold lake at one point in your life and felt the penile effects (she types with knowing raised eyebrows) on what I'm sure is a 'better-than-average-sized' male organ. A dude's testicles basically try to climb up into his pelvis for safety. Really, the human penis's external nature is a BIG design flaw. One hoof to the sack and you're down. I'm not sure, evolutionarily speaking, why having it all out there in the open was a good thing. But I digress...
Friday night. We get home from our walk. We've filled up the tub with near-scalding water. (According to David, I have asbestos skin and what could boil a regular person, feels tepid to me.) Teeth chattering, we've stripped off our clothes. Poor David was blue. Down there.
"Oh honey..." I commiserate.
He glanced down. "I'm COLD! I'm very cold."
"I know love." I give him a salacious wink. "Oh, I know that you're not in top form right now." I immersed myself in the water.
Unwilling to boil his boys, David sat on the edge of the tub and dipped his feet in. The poor guy was shivering badly. So I did what any helpful spouse would do, I warmed up my hands in the hot water and cupped them around his uh... manly bits. The sound that David let out was a cross between eating the best chocolate in the world and well, a girl cupping her warm hands around one's manly bits. He was happy. His biology loosened everything up and he gave me a "SO THERE" glance with waggled eybrows.
"Told you I was just cold."
And that, my friends, is when I came up with the idea for the CockMitt ® (patent pending). Some variation on a sport cup with a heated malleable memory-foam-esque lining that would form to a man's very personal dimensions and ensure that he stayed warm in the winter months. The PERFECT Christmas gift. I'm already working on exterior cup options: