Tuesday, December 3, 2013

It's not just about getting pregnant...

"So if Rissa were a lesbian and she had a girlfriend, would you let the girlfriend sleep over?  You know, seeing as there'd be no threat of pregnancy?" asked David.

"NO!!"  The word came out even before I had time to reflect.  I think I was a shocked as David.  Heather, the liberal minded, had come up against the brick wall of motherhood.


"Really.  It'd still be someone wanting to get in my daughter's pants.  It doesn't matter if that someone is a girl.   If that someone were a cuddly koala bear who wanted to get in my daughter's pants, that someone is NOT sleeping over.  Or if they are sleeping over,  it's in a completely different room down the hall.  With all the squeaky floorboards around it and maybe a bear trap."

"Really...  so you'd want them to have to be sneaky so that they could fool around?"

"Yeah, like every other teenager in the history of the world.  It was good enough for me."

"I was just thinking it through, is all.  We say that if there comes a time that she's drinking underage...

"IF there comes a time...?"

" ...That we'd rather she do it at home where it's safe than..."

"You cannot tell me that you're cool with anyone trying to get in your daughter's pants."

"Well, no, but you're thinking about this as if someone wants to get into her pants now, when she's only 13..."

"Have you seen our daughter?!?  And it's not just the getting pregnant part of sex that worries me.  I was an under-aged girl having sex.  At 16, I wasn't ready for the ramifications of it.  The emotional intensity.  No one gets to sleep over, male or female, until she's at least 18 and in a committed relationship."

"So public places all the time?  No one up in her room?"

"Only if the bedroom door remains open 100% of the time."

"What if they're watching a movie in the basement under a blanket...?"

"No blankets!!!"  I could hear myself starting to panic.

"It's cold in the basement."

"I don't care!  NO BLANKETS!  And we get to randomly run down the stairs and say things like 'Would you kids like popcorn?' and sit on the arm of the sofa or maybe even in between them."

"This is a whole new side to you.  You're so... GRRRRRRRRR..."

"Damn straight.  I'm not going to make it easy for ANYONE to get into my daughter's pants."

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