"A-PRIL! NOT EGGROLL MUMMY!!!"
"THERE WAS NO EGGROLL MENTIONED!"
"Speaking of eggrolls," says David.
"Who's up for seeing a movie after school?"
"Age of Voltron?" I ask excitedly.
"There was a Voltron, you know," says David. "It was a cartoon I had to sneak to watch.* That and ThunderCats, and Transformers - they were all robot-type thingies... but ... BUT... WAIT!! Wait, you know in that other movie, where all the ginormous robots had to wade into the sea to defeat the..."
"Yeah, that one... Well, remember how in Pacific Rim, the robots all had to all join together to create one big... ?"
"I don't think..."
"Wait, no, they didn't come together - they were just massive - you're right! They fought separately, but together... With VOLTRON all these different parts would connect if they had to battle something really evil. Each one had a special robot, and they all had these lion heads, (he's very excited now) in Voltron, each individual robot - piloted by actual people - all had to come together to create a giant SWORD-WIELDING robot!! Together they became... (he pauses for effect) VOLTRON: DEFENDER OF THE UNIVERSE!"
"Why couldn't I have been given a name like that?" asks Rissa. "RISSA: MASTER OF LAMPS!"
"You know, when you're all full-grown," says David. "You can legally change your name to almost anything you want."
"REALLY?!? So I actually could change my name to Princess Consuela Bananahammock?" (The kid is a big Friends fan.)
It is apparent that we have opened up a whole new universe of possibility for our child. BEST. PARENTS. EVER.
"Although... Being Master of Lamps I could perfect a kick-ass power stance when I used my eyeball power to control all lamps everywhere."
"Well, obviously," I agree.
David has been utterly distracted and is now watching the openings of all three shows on YouTube. Rissa is practicing her power stance.
*David was not allowed to watch cartoons - except for the Smurfs. His cartoonal education continues with me.
ThunderCats, ThunderCats, ThunderCats... HO! 1984