Swollen ankles and feet. Sweaty shins. Pressure on my chest. The urge to weep because of the afore-mentioned... Crabby, whiny, petulant - and that's with me not even voicing 3/4 of the things that I wan to say.
Random person says, "I just love this heat!" I think, "I would love to see your decapitated, iced head on a platter providing me with the Popsicle that I so badly need right now."
Random person says, "Enjoy it while it's here! This is Canada..." I think, "Are you a fucking moron? Environment Canada has told people to stay indoors so that they'd don't DIE! This is not a perk!!"
Random person says, "It's shorts and skirt weather!" I think, "FUCK YOU AND YOUR THIGH GAP!!! I have literally stopped while walking down a busy sidewalk, grabbed the purse sized medicated Gold Bond powder stashed within my messenger bag, lifted my skirts and powdered my inner thighs IN PUBLIC to stop the rubbed-raw skin from KILLING me."
This may be why David makes me so many cocktails in the summer.