Thursday, May 22, 2014
Game of Thrones could give a gal a complex
Breasts. Oh, the breasts on Game of Thrones... They are everywhere. You can't possibly miss them. People have been making graphs about the boobs per episode in the show. They are the pertest, highest, smallest areola'd breasts I've ever seen. The Red Priestess Melisandre? SPOILER ALERT Has areolas the size of dimes. I mean sure, she's probably cold, most of the time when you're seeing her breasts she's in a bath, or a cool breeze (or at least the breeze from off-camera fans), so it's understandable that her nipples get all tightened, but... Milisandre's nipples look to be the size of pencil erasers - albeit raspberry-tipped in colour.
If a gal is auditioning for Game of Thrones, is that just a part of the process? "Great audition! Loved your take on that scene, beautiful range... Now if you could just do that scene again naked..." Quick question: Where are the real boobs? It has become clear to me that Game of Thrones must be cast entirely of women who have never breast fed a child.
Hate to break it to the Game of Thrones viewers, but womanly areolas are not the size of dimes. My areolas? (Please excuse me while I grab the ruler.) Holy crap! That can't be right. They are three inches across! Seriously? Let me just measure again... yep, still three inches. Now that's at a dead stand-still with no cool breeze or arousal to erect those nipples, and I am a D cup, but I don't think that I'm alone in sporting a pair of ta-tas with areolas larger than a silver dollar.
I know that the titillation factor on the show is out for a certain demographic, but people aren't just watching for the gratuitous soft porn. Right... RIGHT??? It's giving viewers a totally unrealistic idea of what to expect from your average free-range breast. The same way that porn makes dudes think that you can have a triple E cup size that doesn't sag. The producers are really doing a disservice to viewers everywhere by not throwing in a couple of pendulous breasts with dollar-pancake-sized areolas.
And while we're at it, how about some equal full-frontal for the dudes on the show? You can't possibly tell me that boobs are less a sexual characteristic than the penis. I mean they're right there - out in front - TA-DA! Yes they're meant to breast feed our young, but that's not the first thing that goes through a person's head when they see them. "Hey look at those great lactation glands..." is not tripping off the tongues of viewers. Sure, the occasional male ass gets thrown in, but it's never for long and you never get the same fondling of a male ass that you get of the female form.
THROW IN A PENIS NOW AND AGAIN!
I'll have to work on the chant, but you get my drift.