You see them in the lingerie departments of the Bay. You see them in the Sears catalogue. You have memories of your Gran or your Great-Gran wearing one. You think to yourself: I will never wear one of those.
I'm shopping for one.
I used to sleep naked. I used to revel in my naked slumber. Since the night sweats began, nakedness is not an option. I'm the peri-menopausal Karate Kid.
Blankets on one leg and half your torso!
Blankets only on your legs!
Blankets only on your torso!
In between fits of thermo-nuclear heat - you get chilled. You cannot revel in nakedness... your teeth chatter as your sweat cools.
The other night I was in my striped, zip-up onesie. Night sweats came and I UN-ZIPPED. No hems to raise or lower - no pajama tops to tear off, then hunt for on the floor when I got cold. Getting my arms out of the fairly snug onesie did rouse me a bit from sleep, but the zipper - that zipper - EPIPHANIC!!!
This is why older women wear the zip-up nighties/housecoats/muumuus! The zipper is key!! No buttons, no hems, no snaps that you then have to struggle to re-snap after a hot flash!!! It's all about the zipper!!! You're hot? You unzip!! You're really hot? You unzip and take your arms out!!! It's perfect.
I propose going that one step further. Muumuu-sized onesies with a little more give in the arm/shoulder area. Then the on/off functionality of a regular zip-up onesie gives you the freedom to extract yourself from any arm covering. Wait, that doesn't allow for the women whose legs get hot... AH-HAH!!! If we create a zip-up slanket... or a poncho... I make a zip-up, velour poncho!!! Which is... basically a muumuu...
Annnnd.... I've turned into my Grandmothers. No worries! It took until my generation to update maternity wear - to make it fun and sexy... Now my generation will conquer night sweat attire. I'll start a design collective to create a modern take on the zip-up, velour muumuu. The NÜÜNÜÜ!!!!!