Mom and Fifty Shades...

So my Mom called the other day.

Here she is!  With her lovely smile!
She's probably cackling with laughter in this pic.
She has the BEST cackle.

"Have you read Fifty Shades of Grey?"

Not what I expected her to lead with, but okay. "Yep.  Have you?"

"No, but I've been hearing a lot about it.   There was a man in the pro shop (Mom is a golfer) who said that every man should read it."

"I'd have to agree with him."

"And there was a woman from my bridge group who said that she couldn't believe that they would allow such (insert offended noun here) to be published.  So I was just thinking if you had it, I might take a look."

"I have the e-book, I'll bring my reader along with me this week when I see you."

"Well that would be great!"  And then she asks, "What did you think of it?"

Whenever anyone asks me about the Fifty series of books, I need a second to collect my thoughts.  I read the first two in the series, but (and this should be a good indicator of how I feel) chose NOT to read the third.  A person who chooses not to finish a trilogy has been let down, fed up or just plain disinterested.  I was let down.

I read those first two books.  In spite of the mediocre writing.  However implausibly plotted they might be.  First off, what woman just graduating university is still a virgin?  Then there is the single, drop-dead-gorgeous multimillionaire male who MUST have the virgin?

Okay, I'll suspend my disbelief.  I skew towards the kinky; enjoy the world of D/s.  (That's Dominance/submission for those who know nothing about the lifestyle.)  What I DON'T enjoy - is reading about two people who bicker constantly, with no trust for one another, but who make the mistake of thinking that argumentative passion will make for a lasting relationship and that the capitulation of your own values, your own wants and needs is a good thing.   

If you don't trust someone and you think that the kinky lifestyle that they lead isn't right for you - THEY AREN'T THE RIGHT PERSON FOR YOU!!!  Don't try to change a person you have known for a couple of weeks into who/what you want them to be.  It won't work.  It never works.  

That person doesn't want to change.  At this point in their life, that person wants NOT to be emotionally open and trusting.  Maybe later, MUCH later down the line, they might evolve into a different type of person, but it won't be now.  You will just have to be happy that  possibly because of you, they might have evolved to the point where they'll be able to love someone whole-heartedly.

Oh, and another thing!  It's okay if you like kinky sex. And it's okay if you don't.  Maybe you like to organize your tissue paper in the ROYGBIV freaking spectrum, and that's your kink.  But you shouldn't think that because you don't understand or desire someone else's kink, that that kink is wrong.  It's not wrong for them.  What consenting adults do, is UP TO THEM.  If there are 6 consenting adults who want to play house where all they do is run around nude but for frilly aprons, and use a feather duster on each other's sassy bits?  That is UP TO THEM.  Let them be.  Don't try to change them.

As to the Fifty Shades Series... the sex wasn't earth-shatteringly hardcore.  I've read worse, but more importantly, I have read MUCH, MUCH better.    The best thing going for the series, is that it has brought erotica out in the open.  Women are reading it and they're not afraid to admit they are.  This series almost seems to be required reading to keep up with everyday conversation. 

But the best part of this series becoming so popular??  After reading these books, these newly anointed erotica converts will seek out more erotica and they'll find the BETTER stuff.  (Think Alison Tyler and Megan Hart - and I am more than willing for you to introduce me to others.)  The stuff with more substance and fewer grammatical errors, the stuff that you don't want to take out your pen and redline.  The stuff that really delves into any number of other kinky lifestyles.  Or maybe not even kinky.  Maybe just graphic married sex - because that's out there too - and the fact that is IS, is a GREAT thing.

With the advent of e-readers we can now read ANYTHING we want without that dude across from us on the train, or the person next to us at Tim's,  any the wiser.  Thank God for e-readers.  I LOVE the fact that I can be reading hardcore erotica pretty much anywhere and don't have to feel embarrassment over the ridiculously cliched sometimes graphic images on the cover.  The shirtless men with 6-packs or the women tied to bedposts, the titles that make a literate woman cringe.  My burgundy-coloured e-reader cover makes it appear like I am reading an number of erudite novels.  And sometimes, I even am.