"Not cool! This is NOT cool!" I exasperate.
"What? What is it?" David responds.
"I peed my pants FIVE times today while coughing!!!"
"Oh hon... You'll do better tomorrow... Tomorrow you can make it to six!"
"Do NOT make me laugh." I have already crossed my thighs in preparation for any laugh leakage.
David and Rissa attempt to keep their faces blank.
"It is NOT funny! You guys!! I'm coughing ALL THE TIME!!! I should have done more Kegels. I did so many a decade ago and it's all gone to hell." I try one while I standing.
"Are you Kegeling right now?" David asks.
"Yes." I focus on my nether regions.
"You look terrified and like you're trying to do trigonometry at the same time."
"It makes me feel all squelchy. I wonder if it's even possible to do rehab for your urethra this far after you've given birth." (It is.)
"Mummy, I think, just in case, you should take extra underwear to work."
"I'd have to bring a 1/2 a dozen pairs!"
"You could always wear adult diapers..." David suggests helpfully.
"Dude."
He shrugs apologetically, then gives me a look. "Are you Kegeling again?"
"No, I'm trying to figure out how to accessorize the maxi pad I'll be wearing in my underwear tomorrow." I pause. "Now I'm doing Kegels."
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