Friday, June 7, 2013

Tell me I don't look like that when I kiss!

We recently went to a wedding.  At this wedding there were many young, beautiful couples - years, perhaps dozens of years, younger than us.  We were seated with one of these couples.  They were hip and happening and 'NOW.'  But they sure as shit didn't know how to kiss.

I watched this beautifully coiffed and gowned young woman as she kissed her husband.   She looked like a clown blowing up a balloon.  Like a guppy sucking in air.  Like an infant trying to latch onto a nipple.  And he was digging it!

It was the least sexy kissing I've ever seen in my life.  And I've seen some bad kissing.   Pretty much every kiss that Colin Firth has given on film is a bad kiss.  And before you nail me to the wall for dissing Mr. Darcy - I urge you to go back... Go back and watch videos of Mr. Firth's kiss at the end of Pride and Prejudice and Love Actually and Bridget Jones' Diary - those are not sexy kisses.  Mr. Firth looks like he's worried that he's going to catch lip cooties from those gals.  But those terrible kisses, were like from Lady Chatterly's Lover in comparison to the kisses I witnessed at the wedding.

If someone had caught my reaction on film it would have been something like this:

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