After the second baby, I ended up with a turkey bum. The midwifery student was given the chance to practice her stitchery on me after the episiotomy. I think it might have been her first. She fucked it up. I have this extra piece of skin, that, were I a roasting fowl, would be considered a delicacy. This extra flap - between the IN and OUT doors. A place that I could maybe hide extra subway tokens in.
We, as women, are encouraged to accept ourselves. We are encouraged to revel in what makes us unique, what separates us from the flock as it were. I find it hard to revel in my lady bits when they resemble the ass-end of a Christmas dinner.
Or wait, maybe I could vajazzle it!!! Little bit of bling on my special thing? Hold up now! I'm sure there's a kink out there for this sort of thing. There are kinks for everything. This will be my path to making millions! Who's with me ladies?